Once is enough

He told me to call him. I said I don’t have his number anymore. Wadup? Still not contented with your girl friend? I have been fooled once, and it will never happen again, alright?

So kapal the face. Excuse me, Claire right here is 1.) not in love with you 2.) does not like you 3.) not missing you 4.) does not have any load to contact you

And hello, chiks ka ba? Okay na ang isang pagkakamaling magpabilog sa kalandian mo. Hindi naman ako nasaktan, tinatamad lang ako makipag landian. Sorry. Better luck next year.

P.S I will never be your fuck buddy. Stop emailing me. Zero fucks will be given. 

And then there's Facebook

I mean, who would have thought of hitting the invisible button because of their "inaanaks" and then here comes the realization that our technology is so much revolving and that I'm 20 years old now and that I'm old. Huhu I want to cry.

Moving on, why is that if one says that they'll give you pagmamahal (love) as a gift for Christmas, the one who asked become irritated or disappointed? Kids, when you grow up, I'm telling you it is hard to find love so collect the love I am giving you, okay? It is rare to find love when you grow up so as early as today, cherish it. Really. Be glad that I am giving you the most precious gift ever - Love. And besides, music thought me to Give Love on Christmas Day, and I am just doing the right thing.

Kids, cherish every gift that you'll receive even it is not Christmas, be it a material gift or emotional gift. Cherish it. 

Truth be told. I'm just broke. Try again next year. I really love you kids, though. And I'm still giving you love this Christmas.

Both sides

Credits: Jed Carangan

That forever thinggy

One can be in love with someone forever. But "that someone" cannot be "that someone" forever. There will sure be a time when that person would change, would love you more, or would love you less.

Maybe that's what happens when couples broke up even when they actually said to their partner "I love you forever." Yes, people can love someone forever but this does not mean that you will be with that someone forever.

There are some people who really love each other but are not meant for each other therefore, they cannot be together. But still, they love each other.

People usually change, but sometimes the feelings remains the same.

This "forever" thinggy works like that. It works hand in hand with acceptance. It works when you've accepted that things used to be like that, they fall apart. It works when you've accepted that love is usually like that, it'll slaps you in your face and in any other places. And it works when you've accepted that forever is usually like that, it usually never happens.

"IT" is not a game

"Gusto mo ba makipag sex minsan?"

Seriously? Guys? I mean, girls have feelings. Sometimes you guys can be such a jackass. So un-fucking-believable. Can you not ask a girl properly or let things flow and then have sex? Can you not make sex sound as if its just like playing games? What the fuck. Sex is sex. Its not some kind of tetris or dota where you can ask a mate like "Tara dota tayo." Or "Gusto mo ba mag tetris minsan?"

Seriously? Asking a girl like that is like just asking her to say to yourself to fuck your dog, sonavabitch. You act like shit, you'll be treated like shit. Guys, be sensitive enough to know that girls are not numb. Even though they looks strong because they want you to think they are strong, they are weak and that inside all they want is respect.

Even if they curse, they drink, they smoke and all other vices, they are just human and they are girls. For Christ's sake, they are girls and they have all the right in the world to be respected.

"Gusto mo ba makipag sex minsan?" - Oh no, just, NO. Never would work.

Thesis IT.

No more thesis is it for we are so done. Fuck yeah. So last December 15 we've just submitted our lovely effort-fucking-full thesis. Who would done be so happy to passed their undergrad thesis? Who would not? So can someone blame me for being so much happy?

I will not forget all the hardships me and my thesis mates have gone through, all the statuses on facebook and the tweets on twitter that are meant for each other because we are so pissed, all the coffee we've take, all the money spent on printing and photo copying, all the sleepless nights, all the midnight conference, all the writing researching and revising, all the submission dates we've crammed into, all the hard feelings this thesis brought us into. These things and everything that has not been said is part of our thesis. And our thesis will never be complete and done without these shits.

I love you thesis mates/friends. Through thick and thin. Through submission and revising. Through library or anywhere. Through coffee or milk tea. I love you big big time.

Fire works.

Last christmas party as a student and I have not brought any boyfriend or any boy I'm dating for that matter. I know a lot of people who never fails to bring their someone special in occasions like these while some somehow wishes to have someone to bring in times of these types of occasions.

But who would not want to bring their special someone on their Christmas party? Or at UST Paskuhan for that matter? Who do not want to have someone to be introduced to their friends and be "yeee"-ed at? Who do not want to watch the fireworks display beside that special someone? Of course as cheesy at it may seems, its fucking sweet and romantic. And I want that.

I used to want that thing. Having a boyfriend to bring and be "yee"-ed at even though I'll say, "stop that, :">" when the real meaning is, "Behold freinds. Continue." I used to want to watch the fireworks display beside that someone thinking that this is the most romantic thing I've ever experienced this year. I used to want to introduce that someone to my friends.

I used to. But now, I think I'm contented. Snacks with blockmates. Watched fireworks with college friends. Drink with college blockmates and some new found friends. I've got to say, I love this years Paskuhan. I don't care about the fireworks. I don't care if last years is beautiful than this year. This phrase is to remind you that Paskuhan is not about the fireworks. Its about paskuhan. Paskuhan does not mean fireworks. Paskuhan is Paskuhan. Deal with it.

And I think, Paskuhan that's clebrated with friends is a perfect Paskuhan. Love them. Plus Angel Esmerna. Missing in action ang peg.

Easy as the movies

I hope life would be like that, I hope life could be as easy as the movies, but no. Unlike some mainstream movies, life don't give us lessons that real quick, life don't send us someone to love when we are on the verge of breaking down, life do not make it easy for us to make lemonades from lemons. But like some funny love stories, life fuck us all. Life fuck us all real hard. Talk about being fucked without giving out permission. It's like I've been raped million of times.

I hope my life could be like that. Sometimes I wish that my high school life had been as dramatic as their high school life, when one is just a looser then at prom night, she suddenly became the prom queen. Oh wow, lovely. Like it's really happening to most of the people watching in the real life.

This is why sometimes I hate movies, and whatever is there to watch because it puts wrong fucking notions into people's mind. It tells you that everything will be over in just a snap and you'll get over with your problem but it is really not that easy because in reality you would have to get drunk, get stoned and then make another problem and the process repeats itself.

Movies tells you that when you wait for the love of your life, he would eventually come just like a knight in shining armor, he'll sneak in you bedroom and then you'll kiss romantically but in reality you can't really kiss inside your bedroom because your parents are strict and the love of your life won't really come when you wait, well not always, but seldom, they don't really come. Because there is a big possibility that you are waiting for someone who will impossibly be yours. Uh huh. Truth hurts.

Movies also tells you that even if your crush is not paying attention at you at first, there will come a day when he will suddenly looks at you with all that background music playing and that slow motion effects when you'll say to your friends that you're heart stops beating. But this shit ass bullshit do not really happens in reality because we  people are not edited, we don't have a real fucking life video editor. We can't slow the motion when our crush looks at us and there is a big possibility that the "spark" is not mutual.

Life would be easier if they are life the movies. When you can easily found your love one. When you're crush would talk to you and you'll be couples in the end. When you could easily put yourself up from a humiliation. Life does not come rehearsed. Life does not come with scripts. Life does not come edited. Life is fucking complicated. And we have to deal with it. Bitches all over. Liars all over. Plastics all over. Look around kids, we do not have a director, we do not have a script. We have our laptops of DVD players. So what do we do? Bummed ourselves and wait for the right guy who would accept us that we are bum and that he understands everything that is happening? No. LIFE IS NOT THAT EASY. LIFE IS ONE FUCK ASS COMPLICATED. And if you are weak enough, it will fuck fuck fuck rape rape rape you NON STOP.

Be more better as how the movies end. Movies do not actually shows its ending-ending. Viewers just know that the story ended but viewers do not know the story afterwards. Maybe the married couple at the end will be bored with each other and sell weeds instead and get their lives miserable. Movies do not show viewers these kind of things.

So, people can watch movie but cannot rely that like movies they can also find that story. Our life is made of different stories and I'm sure mine is better than yours and I'm also sure that you'll say that your life story is better than mine. Yes because we have our own. We have to make things possible for our own. We should write our own awesome story not until the end but until the very end. Be it awesome. Don't let the movies fool you, and don't let life fuck you. But if you're already been fooled or fucked, then good luck on your own awesome story. Live well. Write it well.

Chance or Choice?

So that is what happens when people are stuck up in a situation where in you have to choose between your heart or your mind, between the one who would love to be with you in public or the one who is embarrass to hang out with you when people you know might see you.

There's a big difference between being loved or being used. There's a big difference between holding your hands in public or just holding your hand after you guys make out or in the cab. There's a big difference when you can go out together with each other friends or you are not being introduced to his friends.

Yes, maybe the other party had his side, his own version of his story, his own explanation of his feelings. But surely, you is what important to you. So with your unreliable instinct, you've just opened up your door with the other guy whom you choose before even knowing the full version of what is really happening. You choose to miss that chance.

This just like when a girl is with a boy and then the boy is cold with her and then she found someone who would appreciate her the most and then dumped her boyfriend. Girl is lonely, wants company. Other boy enters the scene, perfect enough to be the company. Missing story: boyfriend who probably had his own problems but is not able to speak up for he don't have a chance.

Basically, if this shit is on movie, it would be blockbuster and the people would say at the premiere "I would definitely watch it again! I can't stop crying." And then the viewers would talk and blame the boyfrtiend for not having his balls to explain what the real score is.

What kind of ending do we have here? Oh, a depressing one. Girl not really happy with the other boy. Boyfriend not happy because he can't do anything. Choice over Chance. Or maybe if the boyfriend acts on the problem, then no one will be in this situation, That makes it Chance over Choice.

So what do we do? I say, we blog about it since it is really hard when you are in that situation and I thank God that I am not. And with these kind of problems couples experience when they're in a relationship, I am really glad that I'm single.

What I want for Christmas

So, kung sino may mabuting loob dyan. :-)

AND MOST OF ALL!!! The "All I want for Christmas" Hearts hearts!!

Isang date lang! kahit lugaw lang sa Antonio, kahit wala nang libro! Masaya nako.